Weekly Musings on Life, Love, and Politics – Week 14


After a long break, here’s are my latest musings on life, love, and politics.

  1. Sometimes we need to be quiet.  We waste a lot of energy filling the space up with our critiques of others and our feelings of how they do things.  If we exchanged the time we spend focusing on others and what they do and applied it to ourselves, there’s no telling what we could do.
  2. Our desires can overrule our frame of mind, judgment–really our lives.  What we deem as commitment and sacrifice could really be selfishness in disguise.  It’s the “I’m-going-to-do-what-I-want-to-do-no-matter-what” syndrome.  While we’re working to achieve our dreams, we must be careful that we don’t push away and alienate the people who’ve been there for us every step of the way.
  3. One of the reasons I believe Zombies are so popular is because of how close our lives relate or resemble theirs.  So many of us are like the living dead (or the “undead”).  We work ourselves and worry ourselves to death.  We’re scared to live the lives we desire.  Complacency brainwashes us.  We’re like machines on autopilot.  Can we really say we’re alive when we’re living a robotic existence?  Can we really say we’re alive when our zest and joy for life is constantly in retreat?
  4. Placing expectations on leaders that are impossible to sustain is foolish.  Leaders have limited power.  Leaders can only go so far if their teams, governing bodies, and/or constituents are unwilling to work with them.  The battle is a losing game without the support of the people.  How soon we forget, support and accountability go both ways.
  5. The stronghold of anger can be deadly if not channeled into positive energy.  Anger is the worst motivator for change that results from vindictive, vengeful, and envious behavior.  Sure, actions resulting in anger may bring you relief.  But the relief is temporary.  We must not succumb to anger’s dictatorship.  Redirect its path into something truly uplifting and positive.
  6. Some of the President’s harshest critics and opponents can come together when the threat of war is looming.  However, when issues that directly impact the livelihood of the people are at the forefront, there’s a standoff.  They stall.  Start pointing fingers.  They play politics and prevent necessary legislation from moving forward.  How comforting it is to know where our elected officials allegiance lies.
  7. No relationship, whether business or personal, can thrive without trust.

Until next time… Peace, Love, and Many Blessings!

~ BuddahDesmond

***Image courtesy of Charles Koch’s website.

Spirit Women

Sisters In Spirit_synthiasaintjamesImage courtesy of Synthia SAINT JAMES.

Spirit women,
Singing songs for the world,
Baring gifts for our hearts and souls;
Moving nations,
Changing minds,
Fueling enough power to shift our place in time.

Spirit women,
Rich with love, wisdom, and experience;
Exposing your scars,
Standing in strength,
Encouraging forgiveness,
And enlightening minds on the importance of letting go—
     so our souls can be free.

Spirit women,
Natural humanitarians;
We’re grateful for you and your gifts.
We’ve found blessings in your blessings,
And relish in the deep connections we share with you.

Spirit women—
When we honor you we honor ourselves
     And our collective beauty.

Spirit women—
We celebrate you eternally.

© 2013 BuddahDesmond

Until Then…

When you’re screaming out
And the one you need the most still doesn’t hear you—
Your voice continues to blare and wail like a trumpet;
Hopeful that one day your tune will be heard, loved, and understood.

When you’re giving the monologue your all
And the audience from which you thrive doesn’t see you—
You don’t leave the stage; the drama continues to pour from you—
Hopeful that one day your act will be seen, acknowledged, and reviewed.

When you’re fighting against injustice
And the opposition turns the other cheek—
You don’t stop the movement; the message is a relentless battle cry—
Hopeful that one day your fight will lead to equality, freedom, and justice.

When I couldn’t reach you
I gave every tactic equal opportunity for the chance of change.
I sought your love and approval at life’s every whim.
Even when disappointed or rejected—optimism persisted—

Hopeful that one day you would come around.

Well, it’s been years—
And you still haven’t come around.
I’ve all but given up.
Hope remains everything but strong.
Guess it’s time now that I finally move on.

If you want to be in my life,
You’ll make it known.
But until then…

© 2013 BuddahDesmond

The Ironic State of Black Men in Society (from ‘Prevail’)

During the Spoken Word Hour at the Baltimore Urban Book Festival this past Sunday, 7/14/13, I recited “The Ironic State of Black Men in Society” from the “Life” section of Prevail.  I thought it quite fitting considering recent events.  Video of the performance is forthcoming.

The Ironic State of Black Men in Society

Such complex, beautiful creatures:
Yet condemned to damnation.

Often seen as failures, hoodlums, and vagabonds.
Rarely honored or acknowledged for the greater good they’re doing for their
     families, their communities, and themselves. 
With that depiction in the media how could their outlook not be gloomy?
But that’s only if you aren’t hip to the real T of their plight.

For some strange reason, in the larger society, it is hard for them to be accepted
     as intelligent, honorable, responsible beings in areas outside of entertainment.
And when this perspective of them is challenged, it’s met with all kinds of
     resentment, distrust, doubt, and downright hatred
Anytime reality trumps perception the masses can’t seem to handle it.

And when they happen to be seen in a positive light, and something happens to
     them, or they are accused of an action that casts a negative light on the initial
They are immediately baited for the wolves.
Regardless of proven guilt or innocence, they’ve already been placed into the
     proverbial jail,
Never to be redeemed or forgiven.
They are made to pay for their misgivings and backfires—whether intended
     or not, whether guilty or not—for several lifetimes over.
Even after death, vindication is not promised, if ever granted,
’Cause the fickleness of society will not enable a shift in feeling, right, judgment,
     or frame of mind.

The road to justice and finding a relevant, truthful place for black men in this
     world does not seem possible in any of our lifetimes.
While the imagery and experiences are not, and will not, always be positive,
The belief that black men are no good is ever prevalent.
What has happened, unfortunately, to their plight has many causes and fingers
     that can be pointed at many places.
But the realness, the truth, and the change begin within.
Just because you’ve been denigrated to a certain caste in the world
Does not mean that you have to accept it or embrace it as your own.
Defy what stood before you;
Challenge what you’ve walked into.
Create something better to live on, and impact those coming after you.
That’s where your power lies.
There’s no guarantee that it’ll change minds,
But people will take note.

As long as you define who you are,
and continue to build yourself and your people up,
redemption is guaranteed.
There’s no need to seek the approval or consent of the outsiders.

© 2012 BuddahDesmond

“The Ironic State of Black Men in Society” is featured in the “Life” section of Prevail: Poems on Life, Love, and Politics. Prevail is available at iUniverse, Amazon (Paperback | Hardcover | Kindle), Barnes & Noble, Book-A-Million (Paperback | Hardcover), and other retailers.

Related Posts:
Happy 1st Anniversary to ‘Prevail’!
101 Days Project: Prevail
‘Prevail’ Featured in EDC Creations’ ‘2013 Summer Sizzler Book Tour Magazine’
BuddahDesmond Appearing at the Baltimore Urban Book Festival (BUBF) on 7/14/13 
BuddahDesmond Featured in MOOV Magazine

Weekly Musings on Life, Love, and Politics – Week 13

Image courtesy of the IISC Blog.

Greetings!  Hope everyone is well.  Here’s the latest batch of weekly musings on life, love, and politics:

  1. What’s on the surface can fool you… For it may be in stark contrast with what lies beneath.

  2. There’s a rare breed of folk who are unresponsive to “normal” methods of communication.  You have to get down to their level to truly reach them.  Sometimes this involves getting out of character, i.e. being overly aggressive, shouting, cussing, and carrying on…  In all honesty, isn’t it a shame if you have do all of this to reach common ground with others?

  3. Give people and things a chance.  Don’t be so quick to give up on them before they’ve had the opportunity to prove you wrong.  Let the judgment go.  Give in a little, you just might be surprised.

  4. If you can’t find the hero within, the chances are minimal that you’ll find the hero anywhere else.

  5. The heart is resilient.  It can overcome anything.  But not when we put roadblocks in its path to healing.  Release the pain and let your heart lead the way.

  6. A country can’t call itself “land of the free” when all of it’s people aren’t free.  A country’s failed itself and its people when conditions are put on human rights or when they are not granted or available to all.  Granting these rights to some but not all further perpetuates inequality, injustice, and inferiority, and blocks any chances of real progress.  

Until next time… Peace, Love, and Many Blessings, BuddahDesmond

    Free (from ‘Prevail’)

    I want to be free.
    I want to feel free.
    I want to be able to
    fly and soar freely,
    without limitations.

    I want to be me—
    the complete me,
    not the PC version,
    or the edited version
    intended for major mainstream and retail consumption.
    It’s not to offend.
    It’s about letting loose,
    being in my element
    without worry, care, or defense,
    because I haven’t found that place yet.

    I’m still trying to find that
    place where I can feel at home.
    But when I find it
    I’ll know.
    I’ll be so comfortable and carefree,
    So magnificently me
    That I almost won’t be able to stand myself.
    That’s when I’ll be whole.

    When I find it I’ll be more than content.
    That’s when I can be me—
    unadulterated, unedited and unscripted.
    Yes, that’s when I’ll be free.

    © 2012 BuddahDesmond 

    “Free” is featured in the “Life” section of Prevail: Poems on Life, Love, and Politics. Prevail is available at iUniverse, Amazon (Paperback | Hardcover | Kindle), Barnes & Noble, Book-A-Million (Paperback | Hardcover), and other retailers.    

    Related Post:
    Happy 1st Anniversary to ‘Prevail’!
    101 Days Project: Prevail
    BuddahDesmond Featured in MOOV Magazine 
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    Full Poetry Reading from OutWrite 2012 
    5 Minutes, 5 Questions With… BuddahDesmond on JoeyPinkney.com

    Happy 1st Anniversary to ‘Prevail’!

    Wow, it’s been one year since I published my first book Prevail: Poems on Life, Love, and Politics.  I still recall the happiness and sense of accomplishment I felt holding Prevail in my own hands for the first time.  Prevail represents a dream come true.  I stuck to my guns and made it happen.  Not without a lot of support though.  I couldn’t have done it without those (my spouse, family, friends, and mentors) who’ve encouraged me along the way.  

    It was a rocky journey making the dream happen.  If I’d listened to all the things people told methat I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t fit the mold, that I didn’t do things the traditional way (as if that’s something wrong)I wouldn’t have this book or anything else published.  I wouldn’t be working on my next book.  I would’ve stopped writing… I would’ve stopped doing a lot of things.  But I didn’t.  I persevered.  Yet I know there’s still much more to do.  More dreams to achieve.  Still more to learn.  More platform building to do.  Many more people to connect and build genuine relationships with.  More outreach.  And I welcome it all.

    As I say in the introduction of Prevail, “We never know what’s coming to us in this life, but we do know that if we get through it—whatever it is—we will be better, stronger, and wiser. No matter what, we know we must prevail.”  

    Thank you for your support!  Until next time… Peace, Love, and Many Blessings, BuddahDesmond

    Prevail is available at iUniverse, Amazon (Paperback | Hardcover | Kindle), Barnes & Noble, Book-A-Million (Paperback | Hardcover), and other retailers.

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    Nothing But Love
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    Happily Ever After?
    Gone Too Soon

    Weekly Musings on Life, Love, and Politics – Week 12

    Image courtesty of Mandalas by Veeno

    It’s time for another helping of BuddahDesmond’s musings on life, love, and politics. Check ’em out!

    1. Don’t let the world of “NO” sway you on your way to the world of “YES.” The break you’ve been working towards, the opportunity you’ve been praying for, the chance to SHINE is coming! Hold on!

    2. There is a fire that burns inside of each of us. It’s passionate energy that we can wield in both positive and negative ways. Sometimes we forget about our fire…we forget about the greatness that lies within. And we lose sight of why we’re here, what we’re fighting for, and what we’re ultimately working towards. Don’t lose your fire. Be cognizant of it. Be mindful of it. Learn from it. Will it lovingly and admirably. As Sonia Sanchez says, “Catch the fire and burn with eyes that see our souls: WALKING. SINGING. BUILDING. LAUGHING. LEARNING. LOVING. TEACHING. BEING… Catch the fire…and live.” (Influences: Sonia Sanchez – Catch The Fire)

    3. Sometimes things are only complicated and complex because we make them that way. When this happens, it may be best to fall back, breathe, reassess, and look for ways to avoid fortuitous complications. At all costs—keep it simple!

    4. Only takes a few mini-scandals to divert attention from the real issues plaguing a nation. Depending on the severity, yestime and resources may be needed to rectify the matters related to a mini-scandal.  However, they also seem to give our officials unnecessary reasons to play politics, continue pointing fingers and drag their feet on major issues that they’ve been neglecting. As some will say, “Any excuse…”

    5. There’s nothing wrong with being meticulous. This trait can do wonders for us (and others) in many personal and professional situations. But this trait backfires when it begins to hinder our progress, especially when working with others. We have to know when it’s best to cut our losses and let things fall where they may. We must realize that we cannot afford to let ourselves be ruled or get carried away with the details (all the time). 

    6. When we pamper our passions they will be good to us. Just wait and see!

    Until next time… Peace, Love, and Many Blessings!

    ~ BuddahDesmond

      Rejection isn’t My BFF, But I’ve Learned From It (And 6 Tips to Get Over It)

      Rejection is like the friend no one ever wants to invite out because they either bring everyone down or they make everyone viciously angry.  So we keep them at bay.  But then the party of the year comes and they somehow manage to crash it.  They have a grand ole time and somehow we’re left in the tracks of our own tears.  Probably not alone when I say no one wants to be BFFs with rejection.

      My earliest memories of rejection stem from my relationship with my father.  When I look back, I wish I could say that my mind wreaks of more fond memories with him.  But sadly, I can’t.  My father was not around as much as he could or should have been.  Thinking back, there were many times he said he was going to call, visit, or take me out so we could spend quality time together and nothing ever transpired.  My mother and I heard a whirlwind of excuses.  So many promises, all empty and broken.

      One particular time, my father had seemingly gone out of his way to plan to stop by so we could hang out.  I believe I was in the eleventh grade at the time and we were off from school.  I was excited because it had been some time since I’d last seen or heard from him.  So on this particular day, I got ready and waited.  Waited.  And waited.  One hour, two hours, three hours go by, and my father still hasn’t shown up.  I’m calling and calling.  No answer.  There I was, disappointed, rejected… Sitting by the window, crying, hoping that my father wouldn’t leave me hanging like this (again).  

      He never came.  Another empty, broken promise.  More excuses.  It was a record I’d heard all my life and I wanted its opportunities for airplay revoked forever.  From that day forward I vowed that that would be the last time I would be left crying—sitting, waiting by the window or the phone for my father (or anyone for that matter). 

      I’d be lying if I said this didn’t have any long-lasting impact on my life.  The rejection I felt from my father made me feel as if I was to blame…  That I wasn’t good enough or deserving.  From this stemmed many of my insecurities, self-doubt, low self-esteem, confidence, my shyness, and my inability to let down my guard and trust.  After a certain age, I realized I was allowing it to hold me back from truly being me and going after what I wanted.  I also realized I was angry with my father, his not being around… And I was angry with myself for being affected by it for so long.  But I had to let it go.  I had to realize that I was not to blame for whatever my father was going through.  He has his reasons for why he wasn’t there.  He made his choices and he has to deal with them.  I cannot hold myself responsible for his actions or others, especially when these actions don’t stem from me.  I had to forgive and move on.

      I’ve experienced rejection in a variety of other areas of life—love, relationships, work, school, and with many of my personal and professional interests.  Sometimes it didn’t phase me.  Others, the pain from rejection was damn near debilitating.  In the past year, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard “NO” after going after various opportunities.  But “YES” was never too far behind. 

      Rejection is just as normal an occurrence as sunlight in the morning and moonlight at night.  It’s inescapable.  It’s unavoidable.  It’s timing is impeccable.  And while there’s nothing we can do to block its way, there’s plenty we can do to avoid its lingering effects.

      1. Never lose sight of who you are.  No matter what happens or what anyone says, you must know who you are.  You must remain true to yourself and be steadfast in your convictions.  Be strong.  Be confident.  Trust, know, and believe that you are good enough.  

      2. Learn from rejection.  When rejection occurs, take a moment to look back at the situation and see if there are any takeaways.  Is there anything you can apply moving forward?  Were you really up on your game as much as you could’ve been?  Did you really give it your all or were you going with the motions?  Whatever you discover, do not beat yourself up about it.

      3. Do not give up.  Don’t allow rejection to ruin your course of action.  If you set out to achieve something, stick with it until it comes into fruition.  You’ve invested too much into yourself and your dreams to give up midstream.  If you don’t try, if you don’t continue with your pursuits—you’ll never know the outcome. 

      4. Find ways to keep yourself inspired.  The path to your dreams is one that will be filled with tremendous upheaval.  It won’t be easy.  There are moments when your faith or belief may be tested—and it may wane.  If you can look to the many things in your life that get you hype, that build your optimism, and that constantly rehabilitate your faith and beliefsyou will push through.

      5. Always look to better yourself.  When opportunities arise to increase your aptitude, jump at them (as long as they’re feasible).  You may be really good or great where you are in your life, but you can always take it to the next level.  Look to those who’re doing things you’d like to do and see what you can learn from their experiences.  If you so choose, reach out to them.  You just might find a mentor.  But it’s crucial that you’re ready when they call on you.

      6. Maintain a strong support system.  Keep yourself grounded by people who know, love, care, respect, and appreciate you.  They should hopefully be people who are honest, considerate, and will build you up when they know you need it most.  No matter how good or great you are, you can never have too much support.  You can never have too many champions.  But be sure to pay back in kind what they’ve given you as you make your way.

      We all will experience our share of rejection in this life.  But it’s what we do with it that makes the difference in what happens afterward.  As writer Ray Bradbury said, “You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.”  

      Don’t let rejection break you.  Let it strengthen you and your quest to be all that you’ve been destined to be.

      Happily Ever After? (from ‘Prevail’)

      You can make yourself as happy as can be.
      But the happily-ever-after part—not too sure about that.
      I think happily ever after is determined by fate, destiny, and the Creator.

      So much of the happy ending is rooted in fairy tales.
      After a certain stage in life, you realize that these fairy tales were fantasy at its 
      Everyone fawned over the fantasy life depicted in these unlikely tales.
      But life would never be that,
      And if real life could be like the fantasy—would you really want it?
      Is there any promise that it will be happy?
      It’s a farce to believe so.
      One day an event will occur that will disrupt the foundation you thought could 

           never be shaken.
      It’s like people who say they never have bad days and they can get along with 

      How can you really be like that all the time?
      That’s not real;
      That’s not life;
      That’s not human.
      I know for sure that I would not want to be around the quasi-real, always-happy 

           people when the shit hits the fan.
      I’d want out immediately.
      I’d be scared for all of us.
      It’d give a whole new meaning to the saying, “That bitch just cracked up.”

      In all seriousness, we can make the best and the worst out of our lives.
      We can influence its mood, tone, and character.
      We are, after all, the main players, and we hope—one of the writers in the 
           screenplay of our lives.
      We have power, but to a point.
      We can create the plot and bring about a tremendous amount of drama,
      But we cannot surmise how it will end.
      What we can do is live like we’ve never lived in this world before,
      Love like our hearts will burst if otherwise,
      Be what we need for ourselves, those around us, and those coming up behind 

      The rest—I do believe—is left to fate, destiny, and the Creator.

      © 2012 BuddahDesmond 

      “Happily Ever After?” is featured in the “Life” section of Prevail: Poems on Life, Love, and Politics. Prevail is available at iUniverse, Amazon (Paperback | Hardcover | Kindle), Barnes & Noble, Book-A-Million (Paperback | Hardcover), and other retailers.    

      Related Post:
      101 Days Project: Prevail
      BuddahDesmond Featured in MOOV Magazine 
      BuddahDesmond to Appear on Black Authors Network Radio Show on 12/10/12 at 8:30PM EST
      Full Poetry Reading from OutWrite 2012 
      5 Minutes, 5 Questions With… BuddahDesmond on JoeyPinkney.com