Empowerment – The Fire Within (A 2013 Throwback)

The following piece was written back in 2013. While 4 years have passed, the underlying message is still quite relevant today.


As members of the LGBT community, it’s sad that we still live in a world that cannot see beyond our sexuality. How appalling is it that the masses fail to realize our worth or accept us wholly and completely? When faced with hatred, discrimination, and stereotypical imagery in media and entertainment, we can’t help but feel a bit of shame, guilt, and anger. So many misconceptions and stigmas continue to cloud judgment, perception, and understanding. But for what? Our sexuality is one of so many parts of who we are. While it doesn’t define us, we can’t ignore it. And it’s obvious that public officials, conservatives, and organizations (that shall remain nameless) are obsessed with our sexuality more than we are.

Did the powers that be, holy rollers, and haters forget that we’re human too? We desire, no, we deserve the same things as our heterosexual brothers and sisters – family, friends, love, happiness, success on our own terms, good health… I could go on, as the list is endless. But you wouldn’t know this reading or viewing some of the media and entertainment created daily. How hypocritical can a society be that prides itself on freedom, but shames, victimizes, vilifies, and silences those who don’t fit the preferred, traditional archetype? We’re well past the time to lift the veil on the alienation and isolation that comes as a result of living in such a heteronormative society. But let us not be defeated.

Validation from the outside world may not come in the time, manner, or fashion we desire it to. However, we shouldn’t let it hinder us from living or having what we want in this life. No matter what the outside world says we must remain steadfast in knowing ourselves and trusting what we believe in. No matter what the world says, we are beautiful in every way. We are not less than. We are warriors.

Sometimes we have to forego or question everything we’ve been taught or led to believe as truth to find out who we really are. There’s so much that we deny ourselves when we feed into to the B.S. aimed at refuting our existence. We have to shut ourselves off from the noise and the hysteria to make way for what’s real – to make way for peace, serenity, and truth. When we’re able to free ourselves individually and collectively – the change we see within and around us will be miraculous.

As Audre Lorde said, “Life is very short and what we have to do must be done in the now.” We cannot wait. While we should celebrate the recent Supreme Court rulings in the DOMA and Prop 8 cases for being a step in the right direction for gay marriage, the movement doesn’t stop there. These rulings should only intensify our fight for justice, equality, and freedom for all. And everything we need for this fight lies within.

The key to finding what’s within, the power within, is loving ourselves. We talk a good game about loving ourselves, but how many of us actually do? How many of us can say we truly love ourselves? It’s impossible for us to love ourselves if we continue to allow internalized hatred to ruin our progress. It’s impossible for us to love ourselves if we continue to tolerate the abuse, ill-treatment, and foolishness we encounter daily.

We must not let fear run our authentic selves away. We must be brazen. Stand up for those who were/are not able to stand up for themselves. Realize that in doing so, we’re empowering ourselves and challenging everyone to (always) strive to be and do better.

When we find the love within, the power is never too far behind. When we find our power… When we realize our power… When we utilize our power, its intensity will inspire action and breed the change we need in our families, communities, and the world.

Ours is a power that not only changes lives, but also saves lives. As James Baldwin said, “The world is before you and you need not take it or leave it as it was when you came in.” So let’s find our power and wield it lovingly, strongly, boldly, and unapologetically. It’s our world. Now let the power within—that internal fire—lead the way!

Latest on MUSED – Danish Study Finds Same-Sex Marriage Decreases Mortality Rate For Men

Image courtesy of MUSED.


A Danish study recently published in the International Journal of Epidemiology provided some intriguing data about the health benefits of gay marriage.  Conducted by the Statens Serum Institute in Copenhagen and the Center for Sexology Research of Aalborg University, the study “reports the mortality rate for men in same-sex married couples has dropped significantly since the 1990s.  In contrast, researchers noticed an increase in mortality for women in same-sex couples in recent years” (MUSED).  The study also trumped the notion that married couples tend to have lower mortality rates when compared to individuals who are unmarried or divorced.  For more, read “Study Finds Same-Sex Marriage Decreases Mortality Rate For Men” on MUSED.

MUSED Magazine Online is a pioneering “digital destination for lifestyle, entertainment & culture for modern black gay men.  MUSED serves as a collective of experiences and issues we care about” (see About MUSED).  Its mission is to raise the level of consciousness for our community and provide reliable, relevant, interactive, and engaging content for its readers.  MUSED is the only weekly online magazine for black gay men.


Major thanks and props to Drew-Shane Daniels and the MUSED family for featuring the article! 


Follow MUSED on:  Facebook | Twitter

Follow BuddahDesmond on:  Facebook | Twitter

Peace, Love, and Many Blessings!

~ BuddahDesmond

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Dr. Ben Carson’s Gay Marriage Gaffe – Latest on MUSED

Image courtesy of MUSED.


Dr. Ben Carson is a highly lauded neurosurgeon, educator, speaker, and best-selling author.  After  making several appearances on Fox News and giving speeches at the National Prayer Breakfast and the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), he’s become somewhat of a political wunderkind lately.  Carson recently caught some heat for comments he made last week on Fox News’ Hannity about gay marriage.  He said, “Marriage is between a man and a woman. No group, be they gays, be they NAMBLA, be they people who believe in bestiality, it doesn’t matter what they are. They don’t get to change the definition. So, it’s not something against gays. It’s against anybody who wants to come along and change the fundamental definitions of pillars of society. It has significant ramifications” (Media Matters).  He later apologized and said his comments were “insensitive” and misunderstood.  He went on to say the “attacks” by “racist” white liberals against him “have been so vicious” (The Hill).  To learn more, read “Where Dr. Ben Carson Linking Gay Marriage To Bestiality Went Wrong” on MUSED.


MUSED Magazine Online is a pioneering “digital destination for lifestyle, entertainment & culture for modern black gay men.  MUSED serves as a collective of experiences and issues we care about” (see About MUSED).  Its mission is to raise the level of consciousness for our community and provide reliable, relevant, interactive, and engaging content for its readers.  MUSED is the only weekly online magazine for black gay men.


Major thanks and props to Drew-Shane Daniels and the MUSED family for featuring the article! 


Follow MUSED on:  Facebook | Twitter

Follow BuddahDesmond on:  Facebook | Twitter

Peace, Love, and Many Blessings!

~ BuddahDesmond

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Latest MUSED Article – Should We Ditch ‘LGBT’ For ‘GSD’ (Gender And Sexual Diversities)?
Latest MUSED Article – Looking For Black Leadership? The Savior Lies Within
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