Reflections (Slaying The Monster)

I looked in the mirror
And what did I see
A monster staring back at me
From galaxies unknown
Dark, brooding
So alluring yet so scary
Projecting the happy fantasy
When really singing the lost soul blues
Self-sabotages almost consistently
Holds feelings so deep that when expressed
It’s potency trumps the fire expelled
by an entire Weyr
Putting on, showing out
Acting up, always on the raucous route
Wouldn’t stop until he’d achieved total
domination, control, and power over you
And he won
Or did he? 

When looking in the mirror
What did you see?
A figure you almost couldn’t believe
Because he looked just like you
In fact, it was you
So familiar yet so unrecognizable
How could you manage to let it all go?
No more, you say
NO MORE
His time of recklessness, dysfunction,
and drama are done
For you’re taking it back, all the way back to one
The lost, but not forgotten one
The O.G.
YOU
Time to slay the shit out of this
muthafucking monster
He’s gone on for far too long
It’s the only way to right this wrong
Say goodnight! 

From now on, when I look in the mirror
I’m going to see me
The real me
Not lost, not blue
But genuine, authentic, and true
Loved from the inside out
On that realness route
Reclaimed
And reframed
Like Fantasia, I’m finally back to me.EndFragment 

~ Buddah Desmond, From The Inside Out: A Poetry Collection (2020)

Prevail: Happy 7th Anniversary!

I cannot believe it’s been 7 years since the release of my first project, Prevail: Poems on Life, Love, and Politics. It’s arrival marked one of the brightest and darkest periods of my life.

Two weeks prior to its release, I found myself jobless. A total WTF moment that sent me reeling… Spiraling down. I was singing a tune that was akin to the jazz standard “Good Morning Heartache,” except in this case it was “Good Morning / Good Afternoon / Good Night Depression, Anxiety, Shame, Low Self-Esteem, and Lack of Confidence.” It took awhile to grow through it. While I didn’t realize it immediately, it proved to be a blessing in disguise.

This reality check gave me the chance to do things I always wanted to do. Publish my work. Write, write, and write some more. Perform. Connect and work with other artists, creatives, and organizations committed to the arts and social justice. Complete my MBA. I did what I had to do. About a year or so later, the landscape had changed. My outlook was much brighter.

Life is a trip. At times, you may feel ill equipped for the journey. You may even hate certain portions of the journey. But it’s necessary. It lays the foundation for what’s too come. As I say, “No matter what happens in life, we must PREVAIL!“ Much love and gratitude to all who’ve been there with me and continue to support me throughout this journey. You are true blessings!

Prevail is available at Amazon (Paperback | Hardcover | Kindle) and Barnes & Noble.

SHOUT

Photo by Philip Montgomery. Courtesy of Wired.

Photo by Philip Montgomery. Courtesy of Wired.

Muted voices
Censored
Stunted
Bombastic power oppressed
Not living up to the dream
For you were scared to utter for fear of retribution,
judgment and ignorance

Silent soldier
You’ve got the ammo but you’re too afraid
to use your commands
The time has come for you to
release the sounds hidden in your glorious voice box
It’s now time to shout

I shout for those that died before their time
Those who fought quietly or were robbed of their chance
to simply speak their freedom
I shout for those who braved the waters
amidst the violent, tireless searches to reinforce
unjust captivity
I shout for all the wrongs my people faced yet still
managed to find the joy, pride, and
dignity to go on

I shout for hope, boundless hope
that there will be a moment, a sustained if not eternal moment
when we can love, honor, and respect each other for the beautiful
beings The Creator made us to be

I shout for the times I hide away from others, even myself
I shout because pain and shame can no longer claim me
I shout because I had no reason not to stand up for myself
I have a purpose, a calling
I have value
And so does my voice

I shout because it’s my right
I shout because it’s my duty
I shout because sometimes I can’t help myself
Sometimes you’ve just got to release the
treasures from within
For if you never uncover them, you’ve robbed
the world of one of its many miracles.

I shout for the same reason I sing—
To be free!

© 2014 BuddahDesmond

From the chapbook, Exotic Shifter.

Let’s Love

Love Selfcare Createherstock 4

Come on, let’s make love until
the moon and sun are emanating from
our cells
Let’s let that love light shine eternally
combating the darkness that once shrouded our joy
Let’s stay in love like Minnie
And don’t let anything get in our way
Let’s be love and love until pain is just a
faint memory
Let’s love like there’s no other
Let’s love cause we don’t know any better
Let’s be love cause like being yourself
it’s the only way
Let’s love cause love is right
Let’s love cause it’s our right
Let’s love cause there’s no such thing
as too much love
now, is there?

© 2015 BuddahDesmond

A Love Junkie Consumed

Image courtesy of KrazyInLove.

Image courtesy of KrazyInLove.

Couldn’t hear the roar—
The crowd was playing call and response with me.
Couldn’t respond to their spirited yet pleading call;
I succumbed to the beat of a percussionist at another show,
worlds away from this one.
Physically present, yet my mind and spirit had shifted elsewhere.

The being had a control of me stronger than a Midnight Magnet.
Otherworldly and unreal this thing was—
Wouldn’t want to be released even if my power could’ve freed me.

That jones ain’t got shit on you.
Make a hit of me.
Take me on tour.
Treat me like your setlist.

Play me out, play me high, play me soft, play me low, play me fast, play me slow—
Play me loud, play me hard, play me all day and all night long—
Just play me.

I’ll be all for you and more.
Just take me and make me anew.
They’ll say without 12 steps you’ll be through.
And again, I’ll say—just take me and make me anew.

Consume me so I can benefit from you.
Consume me so I can benefit from you.
Consume me so I can benefit from you.

Consume me because nothing and no one else will do.

From the chapbook, Exotic Shifter.

© 2014 BuddahDesmond

BaddDDD Sonia Sanchez, A Riveting Documentary about a Literary Lion

 

Image courtesy of Cinema Clock.

Image courtesy of Cinema Clock.

Sonia Sanchez is a lion in literature’s forest. When she writes she roars, and when she sleeps other creatures walk gingerly. ~ Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou was spot on when she called Sonia Sanchez “a lion in literature’s forest.” From one literary giant to another, Sanchez is a force of nature. She’s a writer, poet, playwright, professor, and activist. A strong proponent of Black history, literature, and culture, women’s liberation, racial justice, and peace, Sanchez has inspired generations of writers, activists, and academics in the struggle.

If you’ve been following my blog, it’s no secret how much of an influence she’s had on me. So when I found out that the documentary BaddDDD Sonia Sanchez would be screened in DC on the opening night of the African Diaspora International Film Festival (“Where Black Life Matters On The Big Screen!”), I jumped at the opportunity to support it. And I’m so glad I did.

BaddDDD Sonia Sanchez, a riveting documentary by Barbara Attie, Janet Goldwater, and Sabrina Schmidt Gordon, celebrates Sanchez and her contributions as one of the most influential writers of the Black Arts Movement. It chronicles her life – the personal, professional, and the political. Interwoven throughout the documentary are Sanchez in her element–performing her work with a live jazz band, along with readings and commentary by Amiri Baraka (Rest in Power), Nikki Giovanni, Haki Madhubuti,Ursula Rucker, jessica Care moore, Ruby Dee (Rest in Power), Talib Kweli, and Ayana Mathis, to name a few. Their interpretations of her writing and what she means to the world showcase the tremendous beauty, power, magic, depth, and influence of her work.

One (of several) elements I loved about BaddDDD Sonia Sanchez is that it shows Sanchez–the artist–at work. This level of intimacy is something we don’t often get to see of creatives. Truly a treasure to behold. Leaves one wondering if what she was writing in the documentary ends up in her next volume of poetry. One can hope.

During the Q+A that followed the showing, Sanchez dropped several gems about the struggle and the importance of work. She said, “Nothing changes unless you work… You have to do the work.” This statement is so relevant to issues of personal and societal concern today. Entitlement doesn’t bring change or reward. If you want something in this life, you have to work for it. If it’s something that truly matters, playing your part is essential. Her words serve as a testament to why she and other artists of the Black Arts Movement are so significant. They not only created work that touched the hearts of many, but they also did the work that was critical to changing the world.

And what’s a better way to top off your night by speaking and taking a picture with one of your biggest inspirations?

Me with writer, poet, playwright, professor, and activist, Sonia Sanchez

Me with writer, poet, playwright, professor, and activist, Sonia Sanchez

Thank you Sonia Sanchez for your spirit, strides, and all the blessings you’ve given to the world. You are phenomenal!

If BaddDDD Sonia Sanchez is showing in your town, please go and support it. Also check the listings for your local PBS station, as there may be a showing in the near future.

Personal and educational copies of BaddDDD Sonia Sanchez can be rented or purchased from the California Newsreel site.

Inspired 2 Be

Courtesy of The Root & Daniel Boczarski/Getty Images

Courtesy of The Root & Daniel Boczarski/Getty Images

Those who’ve come b4 me have left me
Inspired 2 be
Just like, just as great, and better
I’m inspired 2 be
By those who’ve raised me
Those who fought 4 me
By those who stand by me
By those who set the example
I’m inspired 2 be
Because a way has been paved 4 me
A way that may not have been
If our ancestors did not fight
2 make a better day
A better nation
A better world
A better way of living
So that we could be free
I’m inspired 2 be the best
I’m inspired 2 be the greatest
I’m inspired 2 be
10 times better than
what the masses expect me 2 be
because I have the blood of gods,
kings, queens, soldiers, warriors, pharaohs,
leaders, activists, slaves,
fighters, mothers and fathers
flowing through me
I have a legacy to live up 2
and people, spirits and most of all, myself
that I cannot let down
There4, I’ve been
Inspired 2 be

© BuddahDesmond

Black Magic

Image courtesy of http://beautifulbrownies.tumblr.com/

Image courtesy of http://beautifulbrownies.tumblr.com/

Blackness in full view
Open and vast
Varied and rich
Not hidden in the cloak of
your lies and shame
Blackness doesn’t need your acceptance
or validation
It just is
As it is
And my, what our blackness is!
Full-bodied power
A vivid cultural mosaic
Intricately woven
Connecting our past, present, and future.

My experiences are too often judged, rarely understood
If I let you tell it –
my story simply wouldn’t be
My existence – my truth –
buried, annihilated
At the other extreme, you’ve tried to tell
my story as if you know me better
than I know myself
Praise to the gods that there never is and there never will be
a substitute for the real thing.

My story – our story –
more hype than virtual reality
Afro-futuristic dreams—
we live them every day
Casting spells before you
can comprehend
#blackgirlmagic
#blackboymagic
Rocking it like no other before, during
or after.

Forever an enigma
Keep ‘em guessing, as Mom always says
And just when they think they’ve figured
you out – flip that shit!

My blackness is unapologetic
Will not turn down
for your comfort
It’s everlasting
Just like the storied journey passed down
from my ancestors
Label it haughty or narcissistic
It’s simply self-love
Black love and BLACK PRIDE.

The strength and resilience
of my blackness is unbreakable
as the blood I share with my brothas and sistas
Forever catching our fires like Sonia
Yielding the fire within
Bringing beauty and beyond to the world
And making history every day
Now, that’s BLACK MAGIC!

© 2016 BuddahDesmond

A Writer’s Joy: A 2015 DC Metro Scholastic Writing Awards Reflection

scholastic_awards_logo_rgb_DS
In March, I was honored to be invited back to recite poems by one of the American Voice nominees, Emily Zhang, at this year’s DC Metro Scholastic Writing Awards. Sponsored by Writopia Lab and the Alliance for Young Artists & Writers, the Scholastic Writing Awards recognize DC Metro Area middle and high school students whose writing has earned Gold Key, Silver Key, Honorable Mention Awards, American Voice nominations, the Busboys & Poets Senior Portfolio Scholarship and the Edward P. Jones Young Writer Award.

You could not help but be affected by the positivity and creative energy in the room. Being amongst so many talented young writers was a joy. I saw myself all over again. Seeing and hearing how much literature, language and writing has inspired these young men and women truly touched me. When you are blessed with the gift of writing, it unites you with such a vast community. A community where we feel deeply connected and happily at home.

Writing gives you the freedom to explore worlds. To change minds. To explore feelings–both familiar and unfamiliar. To get inside the lives of characters and their experiences. To dispel myths. To reflect on social, political, cultural and historical events and the impact they’ve had on generations past and present. Writing gives us the opportunity to make the unknown known. To tell our truth. To cast away our fears and simply live. Writing is everything and more.

The approach, style and genres in which we write may vary. But it’s our love of writing, our foresight, insight, perspective, curiosity…and desire for understanding, respect and freedom for all that brings us together.

Reborn: A Poem

Sadly, today’s the last day of National Poetry Month. I thought I would share a new piece I wrote a few days ago. I know I’ve been missing in action for much of the last few months. Between entering into a Nutrition and Integrative Health Master’s program and starting a new job, I’ve had more than enough to keep me preoccupied. I promise I’ll be back to posting regularly very soon.

Though National Poetry Month is ending, the celebration of poetry doesn’t have to end. Poetry is the language of the people. Even if you’re not an avid poetry reader, I’m sure you’ll find a poem or two that will resonate with you. Given the state of today’s world, poetry can offer us hope, solace and perspective. Poetry ignites the fire within. In the words of Sonia Sanchez, “Catch the fire…and live.”

Reborn

You fall back–
thinking you’ve got broken wings.
They’re only broken if you empower mistakes
and pain from the past to rob you of future’s joy.
You’ll never make it off the ground
running from your history.
Run into it for understanding.
Revisit for healing.
Conquer the aches, soothe the wounds
so you can be one with your spirit
and true destiny.
The internal battle will cease.
Like morning on a crisp spring day–
you’ll be reborn.