Finding My Way Back

Posted on November 16, 2012 by BuddahDesmond611

I’ll never forget a particular meeting a group of peers and I had with the head of student affairs at my alma mater… During this meeting, she told us that roughly 80%-85% of people are unhappy with their careers. Many of us were in shock after hearing this. I thought to myself, “Wow. The remaining 15%-20% have it made. I want to end up in that group, not the 80%-85% group.” Years later, I found myself slowly drifting closer and closer towards the 80%-85% group. Once I found myself fully submerged—I needed more than a white flag to save me.

Practicality lured me down this path. Armed with good intentions, I thought I could make it work. Honestly, I did. But how can you when you’re committing yourself to something that fails to hold your heart captive, no matter how hard or what you try? I listened to the “wisdom” about going into a career (technology) that would provide a good living. I was told that my dreams and what I wanted (a career in the arts/being a renaissance man) was lofty, unrealistic, and that I wouldn’t/couldn’t make a living doing it. So (unwillingly) I bought into to it. It was a good lie for a few years. But each time I got still, reality brought truth back home.

As I moved further away from my dreams, the more they haunted me. I called this the true gift and curse about dreams, talents, and natural abilities. The more you deny them, the stronger they become. If you allow your dreams to die, a portion of you will die along with them. As I found myself heading for crisis, my dreams were still very much alive. I, however, was going deeper and deeper into denial. I found myself saying, “There has to be another way. There has to be. Otherwise I want out.”

Ever been in a situation that felt like a dream that you weren’t supposed to be in? You know, when everything (including the people) seems so unreal and untouchable and you don’t quite fit? That’s how I felt. It was the dream, a fantasy, that I should’ve awakened from sooner. A fantasy that would eventually turn into a nightmare. When the fantasy ended, so did my livelihood.

I was forced to get really real. I had to find my way back to myself and all that I denied along the way. Silly of me to believe the hype and allow external factors to influence decisions about my well-being and career. Foolish of me to doubt myself and my talents and let my self-esteem and confidence suffer as a consequence. How silly… So silly.

After years of neglecting yourself, you have to get back to you and heed your calling. And that’s what I’ve been doing. While I know I’ve got a long way to go, it’s not as long now that I’ve fully embraced me and all that I have to offer.

More to come!

Don’t Let Perfection Ruin Your Quest for Greatness

Posted on November 14, 2012 by BuddahDesmond611

Image courtesy of the Glamour site.

“Perfection is often the enemy of greatness.” ~ Janelle Monae

Janelle Monae, the beautiful, extraordinary singer, songwriter, and entertainer, uttered the words above while accepting the Young, Gifted, and Black Award at this year’s Black Girls Rock! awards show. Monae’s powerful words are the just the source of inspiration many of us need as we move through this life.

On our quest to achieve our dreams, or simply on the quest to bettering ourselves, we often think we have to be perfect in everything we do. We virtually kill ourselves striving for perfection (or succumbing to perfection’s tainted appeal), when we don’t need to. When we realize we are fine just the way we are, greatness is a given. Greatness will ooze from our pores, because we’re honoring our authentic selves and simply letting it flow (just the way it was intended).

We don’t have to be something we’re not or play into an unrealistic fantasy of ourselves to move forward. Just be yourself. “Embrace what makes you unique,” Monae said, “even if it makes others uncomfortable.” Thank you Janelle Monae, for this, and thank you for sharing your light with the world!

Love Real and True

Posted on November 13, 2012 by BuddahDesmond611

Somewhere along the way I found love.

But it didn’t happen the way I thought it would.

It was quite different from my dreams—

Wasn’t always so nice and pretty.

It was quite different from my fantasies—

Was sometimes better than I could ever imagine.

Was not always what I expected.

In love, if you just have to have expectations—

expect the unexpected.

In my experiences with love and relationships,

I realized—

That love doesn’t always happen or arrive the way

you want it to

Or the way you dreamed it to.

Love comes in the way you need it most.

And you may not realize it,

You’re often blind to this mystical, magical thing.

And maybe that’s why I was afraid.

Maybe that’s why I was scared and ran away—

Because it didn’t come in the “right” package,

Because it didn’t meet all of my requirements

On “the list”.

But once you get past want and arrive at need—

It’s like a new world.

You feel complete.

You are fulfilled in ways never known before.

You desire nothing more,

Because you got a love that’s real and true.

Weekly Musings on Life, Love, and Politics – Week 4

Posted on November 10, 2012 by BuddahDesmond611

Without further adieu, here are the latest weekly musings:

Tolerance is limiting. It leads to a dead end road. It means that total understanding, respect, and empathy are not possible, because one is not able or is unwilling to embrace that which is different from oneself.

You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel and how much the world opens up to you when you get out of your own way.

Rejection is unavoidable. If you’re “lucky enough” to have yet to experience it, don’t worry… It’ll happen. It’s foolish for any of us to think that we’re so good or so untouchable that everything belongs to or is meant for us. Not so.

Unless you have a plan or recommendations on how to make life as we know it better, STFU! We can be so quick to complain when things don’t go the way that we want them to. Complaining is useless. If you want to make a difference, you have to collaborate with those than don’t share the same beliefs or ideals as you. By doing that, we can get the change that will benefit everyone—not just you or those like you.
Sometimes the best opportunities are those that come about by accident or those that we create ourselves. We have to be open to all possibilities.

Love manifests from within. It’s so easy to be led astray when you can’t find it within yourself. Stop looking out, and start looking within!

Our America

Posted on November 8, 2012 by BuddahDesmond611

(Written in Praise of President Obama and Vice President Biden’s victory in the 2012 Election.)

Image courtesy of Just Jared site.

Our America is not one that is steeped in homogeneity. Our America is ever changing, evolving. It doesn’t always look like you, sound like you, love like you, or believe like you. In our America, our differences don’t create problems. They bring about unity. They showcase the beauty of diversity and inclusion, not inferiority and hatred.

In Our America, access doesn’t come with million or billion dollar price tags. Opportunities exist for all, especially all who believe in themselves and are committed to diligence. While Our America is not perfect, it cannot keep up the status quo just to appease the good ole boys. Only doing this will forsake itself, its people, and the world by not adapting to change and by not allowing new perspectives and styles of leadership to come to the forefront.

Change, the right change—especially when given the opportunity to blossom—is essential to our livelihood, our growth, our productivity, and our economy. Our America needs to move forward. Our America needs progress. Let our America prevail!

The Power Of Your Voice

Posted on November 6, 2012 by BuddahDesmond611

My partner and I got up early this morning so we could get to our polling station before it opened (at 6 AM). It was very good thinking on our part considering how long the line was, even at 5:50 AM. But seeing the line of people this early was a beaming sign. It meant people were not going to be swayed in any way. They were going to let their voices be heard. The cold—even with the temperature below freezing—was no deterrent either. That’s because the cause was/is worth it.

The cause is worth it because my ancestors fought too long and too hard for all of us to be able to vote. They knew the power of the voice and that we’d only falter if we remained silent. They recognized the importance of the collective…and that if we all had the chance to vote that we could collectively change our world for the better. My ancestors died so that we could we could be free and live in a world where equality and justice reign supreme. Therefore I don’t take any of it vain.

I also don’t take it lightly the (ongoing) issue of voter suppression and oppression throughout this country. There’s too much at stake for any of us to be cast aside or denied our right to exercise our political voice. And after being in a long line of voters today and seeing the long lines of people voting early in days prior, I know that this right—this precious right—is something we all (should) hold dear. As someone said exiting the polling station this morning, “You’ve got to show up in order to show out.” And I’m so pleased, so happy, so grateful that people across this country have/are doing just that.

Never think that you don’t matter or that you don’t count. Because you do. If you feel you aren’t being represented well or at all, you have the right to voice your concerns and act accordingly. If we fail to act or we don’t exercise our rights, then we’re giving in. We’re signing off and are just as accountable as the parties in office. Or as many will say—if we don’t vote, we don’t have a voice. Remember, you and your voice are worth more than they’ll ever admit. Why else do you think they up the ante on tactics to scare us away from the polls (especially during Presidential Elections)?

I don’t care what scare tactics they use. I wouldn’t care if it was subzero or 100+ degrees outside this morning. If I had to stand in line all day today to vote, I would do it. I recognize the power of my voice and power of my vote. And I’m glad to see that so many of my fellow Americans do too.

Miguel, A Maestro Adored

Posted on November 5, 2012 by BuddahDesmond611

Miguel Live at The Howard Theatre (DC). Photo by Victoria Ford/Sneakshot via The Couch Sessions site.

Miguel is an artist, visionary, and innovator. He’s one of the most promising talents to come along in quite some time. With two albums and several mixtapes, he’s started what could be called a movement…A movement that brings the focus back to talent, style with substance, and entertainment the old fashioned way. Back in the day, you had to be able to put on a great show—whether you had a hit song or album out or not. You had to know how to keep your audience entertained. That’s how you kept working. After seeing Miguel live at The Howard Theatre (in DC) at the end of September (as part of his Kaleidoscope Dream Tour), it’s without question that he more than knows how to keep his audience entertained.

While being pegged as an R&B artist, there’s more to Miguel music than that. If anything, his music is a fusion of many different styles and genres of music. It’s contemporary, futuristic, psychedelic, and old-school. It’s R&B/Soul, Hip Hop, Rock, Pop, Funk, and Electronic. Hence, his aptly titled second album Kaleidoscope Dream. Miguel’s well-crafted, authentic, soulful music always seems to get at you. His latest No. 1 R&B single “Adorn” is solid proof of that. The heartfelt emotion in the lyrics and his vocal performance are what make it so affecting and so effective. It’s simply one of the best R&B songs—hell, it’s one of the best written songs in contemporary music today (PERIOD).

With the stage presence as potent as the greats before him (Prince, Michael Jackson, David Bowie, Freddie Mercury, Sam Cooke), Miguel captures your attention instantly. He doesn’t have to utter a word…A simple gesture and the crowd goes wild. Now that’s what you call impact, power, and love. With awe-inspiring creativity, endless style, hypnotic showmanship, and an emotive, supple voice, Miguel is a beast. After seeing, experiencing really, Miguel live— know that I am without a doubt a fan for life.

One can only wonder how he’ll continue to push the boundaries of contemporary music and performance forward. The sonic masterpiece that is Kaleidoscope Dream is sign enough that there’s much more in store from this maestro.

The Dummest Thing I’ve Ever Heard

Posted on November 4, 2012 by BuddahDesmond611

Vesta Williams’ Final Album, Seven, Set for March 2013 Release

Posted on November 4, 2012 by BuddahDesmond611

Image courtesy of the Urban Bridgez site.

Good news for all Vesta Williams: Her final album, Seven, will be released in March 2013! According to SoulTracks, Urban Bridgez, and Radio Facts, the official release date for Seven is March 26, 2013 via Stimuli Music/Bronx Bridge Entertainment. Seven, executive produced by Edwin Nicholas, Devon V. Collins and Kahlil I. Pedizisai, features her new single “Better Days.” The single was officially released October 21, 2012 and is available on iTunes and Amazon.

Vesta Williams was a multi-talented singer, songwriter, actress, and comedienne whose solo career spanned over 25 years. Prior to her passing on September 22, 2011, Vesta released six albums. Some of her most popular tunes include “Once Bitten Twice Shy,” “Don’t Blow A Good Thing,” “Sweet Sweet Love,” “Congratulations,” and “Special.”

Troubles on my heart/Things falling apart/The fight in me was slowly dying/But never did I give up trying/To find my moment to shine. ~ Vesta Williams, “Better Days” (2012)

Vesta’s latest single is an inspirational, mid-tempo track that lives comfortably between R&B/Soul and Contemporary Jazz. Vesta’s voice is warm, endearing, passionate, and angelic. She (re)assures us that no matter what we’re going through, everything will get better. Considering the struggles many of us are facing today, these are words we need to hear.

Even though Vesta has passed on, “Better Days” (and the forthcoming album I’m sure) is proof that her legacy will encourage, inspire, and move us forever. (Check “Better Days” out on YouTube.)

Be sure to purchase a copy of Vesta’s “Better Days” today and request it from your local Urban, Urban AC, and Contemporary Jazz radio stations. And don’t forget to pre-order/purchase your copy of Seven as soon as it’s available.

Graduation

Posted on November 2, 2012 by BuddahDesmond611

I thought this poem was fitting considering I’m less than three weeks away from finishing my MBA program. Gotta keep the faith!

Graduation

Run from you I dare.
Well I could but the consequences would be dire.
Too much weighting on this,
So many others have invested in this;
If I don’t pull through—ties could be more than severed.

I’ve come so far,
I’d be a fool to give in to temptation’s selfish, persuasive pleas
to turn my back.
Finish you I must,
Or else you will haunt me like a spirit without closure.

Buddah Desmond

Author of Prevail: Poems on Life, Love, and Politics

Author Archives: BuddahDesmond611