Category Archives: 101 Days Project

Day 39: OUT (Written in Honor of National Coming Out Day)

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In honor of National Coming Out Day, here’s a piece that I wrote entitled “OUT.”

Nothing worse than being silenced, especially in an environment where your voice has a rightful place to be loud and heard.
Nothing worse than living in fear because you don’t know how family, friends, community or the larger society will deal with the “real” you.
Nothing worse than living a lie because you succumbed to complacency and conformity of cultural or societal norms.
Nothing is worse than hiding from everything and everyone (including yourself) because you’ve been led to believe that you are less than or simply not worthy.
It’s bullshit.

Nothing should come before you, your authenticity, or your well-being.
You were made divinely and with a purpose regardless of what mortal beings may tell you.
So honor yourself.
Not just today but everyday.
Because nothing is better than being free.
Nothing is better than being your whole, true self.
Nothing is better than loving yourself.
Nothing is better than love.

(c) BuddahDesmond

Day 38: Adriana Evans – Walking With The Night

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There’s something about Adriana Evans. That “something” enraptured me (yet again) while I was finishing my last final exam this weekend. Within the first few bars of “Waiting,” the first track off of her latest album “Walking With The Night,” I was spellbound by her rich musical landscape. Her music is an intoxicating mix of classic soul, funk, hip-hop, jazz, and Afro-Cuban and Brazilian rhythms. Her voice–an instrument that is reminiscent of the preeminent jazz vocalists of our time–is the soulful, sweet, sublime element that brings everything together. Like all great singers, she could sing anything and make you pay attention. It’s artistry. It’s realness. It’s music from the heart. And you can feel it. Whether it’s the latest album or one of her previous efforts, it won’t be long before you can’t get it out of her hypnotic music out of your mind. Aside from “Waiting” and the title track, songs that stay on repeat are “Surrender,” “Midnight,” “Set in Stone,” “Never Thought” and the album closer “El Sol” (which is one of several songs from her catalog that I believe provides an excellent snapshot of her artistry). Like her previous releases, I’ll be jamming to “Walking Into The Night” for life.

Evans made her self-titled debut back in 1997. This effort was one of several to lead the pack of what was being dubbed “neo classical soul” in the mid-to-late 90s. Her singles “Seein’ Is Believing” and “Love Is All Around” received moderate airplay on urban adult contemporary stations. But just as she was making headway, she disappeared from the “mainstream” music scene. I had been wondering for years when we’d be graced with her presence again. And in 2004 while finishing my final quarter undergrad, I came across some music from her “Nomadic” album. I was ecstatic. Fast forward to 2006 when I discovered that Adriana Evans “Remember The Love” (from the “Nomadic” album) was chosen to be the theme song to Patrick Ian Polk’s “Noah’s Arc” series. A black gay series on television with a soundtrack supporting indie and underrated musicians – it was a win-win. The series featured several other songs from “Nomadic” and Evans 2007 release “El Camino.” Thanks to Polk Evans and other artists music was exposed to a wider audience. It’s still a shame that music like this isn’t flooding the airwaves. However, unlike the non-believers whose ears aren’t to the ground, we know that real music still exists. Therefore, we must continue to support it. We can’t wait for mainstream to pay attention. We must talk it about, blog about it, tweet it, and share it on our social media and networking profiles. Keeping good, real, authentic music alive is a necessity!

Day 37: Love & Bills

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“Love don’t pay the bills!”  How many times have we heard this statement?  If we could cash in every time we heard it, we’d probably have some hefty bank accounts.  While it may be true, shouldn’t we be digging a little deeper?  Love is more powerful than money.  More spiritual.  More meaningful.  Money is tangible but does not last forever.  Love is ever-lasting.  Once you’ve got it–you’ve got it.  You may not always be in love.  But you will always love and be loved.  That’s what makes you rich. 

Whether you’re by yourself or in a committed relationship–you’ll find a way to pay the bills.  With love on tap, you’ll work to find a way.  That’s if you want to.  That’s if you care.  That’s also when faith, loyalty, devotion, and due diligence come into play.  Money can bring you lots of things, but love is not one of them.  And love can bring many things as well…  So much so that you may not realize how truly blessed you are.  Maybe that’s what The-Dream was getting at on Love Vs. Money…  Well, one hopes that’s what he meant. 🙂

Day 35: The Gift & The Curse

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The further you run away or ignore life’s gifts, the more they will haunt you.  The haunting can make them seem curse-like.  It’s a calling that we each must heed eventually.  It’s where passions, dreams, and destiny all meet up.  It’s an extraordinary collision course that puts us in the right place, the right time, and the right moment.

Day 34: Communication

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Sometimes when I say “I wonder why I bother,” it’s due to some miscommunication or misunderstanding.  But I can never own up to it as being a sole responsibility of mine.   Communication is typically not a one-way happening.  If you end up in a place where I didn’t intend to take you (and vice versa), it’s the responsibility of both of us to get back to where we each need to be.  We have to work together, actively listen, pay attention, and make light of confusion or pinpoint where issues need to be addressed.  That’s the only way we will ever be able to successfully communicate with each other.

Day 33: Loving Yourself

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There’s no way in the world that anyone can tell me that you can love fully and completely when you don’t love yourself.  You cannot let go.  You cannot really embrace.  You cannot allow yourself to fall.  You’re too guarded.  Too scared.  Too worried.  Even if you find someone who loves you the way you need to be loved, total acceptance still won’t be possible.  You’re too blocked.  You’ve got too much personal baggage.  You’ve got to release it.  You’ve got to fall in love with yourself before you can really allow someone else to love you.

Day 32: A Direct Route to Divine Power

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Man can proclaim to be as wholly holy, devout, and pure as possible.  But it never changes our human nature.  Our innate fallibility and imperfection.  Our tendency to pass judgment, to boast, and be haughtily bound in our approach.  Some of us can’t help being ourselves in everything man has “created” – even religion.  We were made in his image but are not the image.  We may be Christians or working to be Christians, but we are not Christ.  We are not God, Buddha, Allah, Vishnu, Shiva, or any god of worship.  That’s why I will never allow anyone to tell me about how I should live my life, force their beliefs upon me, or tell me about how my relationship works with The Creator.  It’s personal territory.  It’s mine.  It’s about my spirituality and my spirituality determines how I believe my relationship should be.  Advice and guidance are one thing.  But you do not rule my path to higher power.  Because I – like you, like everyone else – has a direct route all day, everyday.  And there’s nothing that any man can do to change that.

Day 31: On A Mission

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I doubt there will ever come a time when we will like everything and everybody in this universe.  We’re fickle, finicky, and at times very adamant about what we like (and don’t like).  And other times, we can be downright nasty about it.  Shady too.  Knowing this – why would we ever strive to to please everybody?  We need to please ourselves first and foremost.  Maybe we’d stand a better chance at achieving the things we’re so passionate about.  Maybe then we’d be on a mission that nothing and no one could abolish.  That’s when you know it’s deep.  That’s when you know it’s meant for you.  That’s when people can say or do anything but won’t break your faith, determination, or steadfast nature.  When you’re on a mission to please you (and The Creator) nothing will stop you.

Day 30: Obligation & Convenience in Relationships

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Two things that can keep someone in a relationship are convenience and obligation.  After a particular span of time, people get complacent.  They become very comfortable with where they are.  Even when they know they deserve better – they stay.  They’d rather suffer than make the move on to something better suited for themselves.  They also may be weary of hurting their mates feelings.  And they may be feeling that staying (because of the time put in – amongst other things) is what they’re supposed to do.  Well, you’ve got to think about your heart.  If after all this time things still haven’t changed or don’t look like they will change – it’s time to go.  Doesn’t matter what or who you’re leaving behind.  Happiness and joy are not worth your accommodating someone who is not meant for you.  Why suffer in silence?  Put yourself first.