I walk away from
constantly hurting me love
deserting me love
you said, I said, we said
~ Jill Scott, “Slowly Surely,” Who is Jill Scott? Words & Sounds Vol. 1, 2000
If you haven’t figured out from my previous posts yet, DP and I broke up. After 2 1/2 years, I had to walk away. It wasn’t the love that I wanted anymore. It wasn’t fulfilling my needs. After putting so much into it, I felt slighted. I felt shortchanged. I felt used. Because I wasn’t getting back what I was putting in. The effort, the support, the openness wasn’t being reciprocated. So I had to move on. The relationship was over long before it ended. I just had yet to open my eyes wide enough to see it. Though I saddened about our relationship’s demise, I was thoroughly relieved. Content that I’d finally let go of what had been bringing me down for some time.
While I prefer to be in a relationship, I can do without the suffering, the heartache, the longing, and the pain. Lately, I’ve been enjoying the single life. I’ve been enjoying this time of reflection and introspection. I know that the next time will be quite different. And most of all, I’m going into this next period of life and love with no expectations. That way I don’t get my feelings hurt too soon, too fast. And though it’s only been a few months, new love seems to be on the horizon again. But I’m taking my time with it. No need to rush it. I’m just letting it flow – slowly, surely, easily, naturally. There’s no hurrying love. A hurried love is one that will turn on you. It’s one that will let you down. One that you won’t be able to depend upon. Can’t be having that! LOL! Until next time — love, peace, and many blessings!