Hello All! It’s been quite a bit of time since I last blogged. Life’s been keeping me busy – really busy. So much so that I had to take a step back, chill out for a bit, and re-evaluate things. After the world tour from work (we traveled to six different locations in three weeks in July), I fell ill in early August. All the traveling took a toll on me and I spent a brief period in the hospital and on sick leave from work. It was a combination of exhaustion, stress, and anxiety (which sent my blood pressure through the roof). And this is not a good combination of things to be suffering from. It may seem lightweight but when you think about how your overall health can be impacted – it’s not cool.

Looking at the amount of leave I’d accrued vs. what I actually used at work, I noticed that I had not taken off much at all. And in lieu my recent health scare, I figured I needed to rectify that. So whenever I feel I need to take a mental health day – I take it, without hesitation. I realize that end of the day – if you don’t take care of yourself, who else will? I’ve been trying to relax more, chill more, party and socialize more (I’ve been doing a lot of that lately-LOL!). Just trying to enjoy life more really.

Aside from that, I’ve been spending time with family and helping out when I can. My mother and my grandmother actually took care of me while I was sick. I was so appreciative and grateful for that. I’d do the same (and have done the same) thing for them. It’s the least that I can do for the many things they’ve done for me over the years. I recently helped them move into a new place back in late September. Due to the issues my mother’s been having with her left hip/leg and lower back, she’s unable to comfortably do a lot of walking and stair climbing. Her doctor told her she needed to move somewhere that didn’t have any stairs. Fortunately, she and my grandmother were able to find a one-level house and everything is good. They’ve settled quite well into it.

I’ve also fallen in love…. This thang is for real. So SERIOUS!!!! I’m so happy (or I should say happier). All of the b.s., drama, and games I had to deal with in my previous relationships were the perfect set-up for what I have now. Totally work of The Creator. I can’t say thank you enough! When you stop looking – good things do come your way. I do believe I’ve found my match. He’s a beautiful man – inside and out. We feel exactly the same way about each other – and it’s been that way seemingly from day one. Another reason to keep smiling…. 🙂

And I got to see Janet here in DC. Oh…. That show was one of the best shows I’ve ever seen. She brought the house down. They weren’t ready-LOL!! I rocked with Janet for 2.5 hours of non-stop unadulterated entertainment. Say what you will about the Jacksons – but they rise like the phoenix. And regardless of what’s going on – they always know how to put on an excellent show. Michael and Janet – two of the most influential and dynamic entertainers to ever grace the stage. Just look at all the reigning kings and queens of the industry now – you can’t help but notice the influence Michael and Janet have had on them.

Anyway…. Life is good. Love is good. So many things to be thankful for. Even during the darkest moments…. There’s always plenty of light shining when you come out on the other side. We often forget how fortunate we are. It usually takes a life changing event before we realize it…. Until next time… I wish you the best. Get out and vote. This thang is SO SERIOUS! DON’T PLAY!

Slowly surely
I walk away from
self-serving
undeserving
constantly hurting me love
deserting me love
you said, I said, we said
but
~ Jill Scott, “Slowly Surely,” Who is Jill Scott? Words & Sounds Vol. 1, 2000

If you haven’t figured out from my previous posts yet, DP and I broke up. After 2 1/2 years, I had to walk away. It wasn’t the love that I wanted anymore. It wasn’t fulfilling my needs. After putting so much into it, I felt slighted. I felt shortchanged. I felt used. Because I wasn’t getting back what I was putting in. The effort, the support, the openness wasn’t being reciprocated. So I had to move on. The relationship was over long before it ended. I just had yet to open my eyes wide enough to see it. Though I saddened about our relationship’s demise, I was thoroughly relieved. Content that I’d finally let go of what had been bringing me down for some time.

While I prefer to be in a relationship, I can do without the suffering, the heartache, the longing, and the pain. Lately, I’ve been enjoying the single life. I’ve been enjoying this time of reflection and introspection. I know that the next time will be quite different. And most of all, I’m going into this next period of life and love with no expectations. That way I don’t get my feelings hurt too soon, too fast. And though it’s only been a few months, new love seems to be on the horizon again. But I’m taking my time with it. No need to rush it. I’m just letting it flow – slowly, surely, easily, naturally. There’s no hurrying love. A hurried love is one that will turn on you. It’s one that will let you down. One that you won’t be able to depend upon. Can’t be having that! LOL! Until next time — love, peace, and many blessings!

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Now playing: Jill Scott – Slowly Surely
via FoxyTunes

It’s about that time. I feeling the need to get rid of some dead weight. I don’t need the start of the new year to signify change. It’s just a feeling that you get when you know you’re veering off track. You’ve been led astray and you’re trying to get back to where you need to be. Somewhere amidst graduation, the new job, the relationship, moving, traveling, and all of the family/personal drama – I got lost. I got caught up. I lost focus on what I set out to achieve. I let everything (and everyone) dictate what my existence should be. But no more! Never again. As the saying goes, “I may be down but never out!”

I know this is shorter than my average post, but sometimes being concise is the only way to get the point across. I’ll be back with another post within the week. Hope everyone in the blogworld is well. Until next time…. Peace, Love and Many Blessings!

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Now playing: Teena Marie – Ooo La La La
via FoxyTunes

Another month gone by as the summer of 2007 is jockeying for the title of “fastest summer ever”. Next thing you know everyone will talking about XMAS shopping. That is the very last thing I want to think about. So what’s been going on in Buddah’s world? Not a lot and I’m enjoying it that way…. Well, at least for this moment.

After being the dynamic duo at work, my supervisor and I, we are now a team of four. We’ve welcomed two new team members who are very intelligent, creative, and enthusiastic. I think they’ll do very well. We’ll be able utilize our resources better and accomplish a great deal more. I’m looking forward to the prospects.

After gallivanting through the streets nights and weekends for the last several months (like a gypsy with no home), I’ve taken reprieve. This is probably the second weekend in some time where I did absolutely nothing. Isn’t nice to chill out for a change? I’m sure all of that will change next month. The calendar is beginning to fill up with engagements. More on that as that in other posts.

I also spent some time at home. My mother has been experiencing a lot of pain lately due to osteo-arthritis in her legs and bone spurs in her lower back. I had to help set up the office so she would be able to work from home. She’s loving it and wishes she could work from home until she retires. If you had to deal with the b.s. from the cunts that she works with on a day to day basis you’d prefer to work from home too. She’s been working from for about a month now. She experiences some pain every now and then but she doesn’t let it stop her. She’s always in good spirits. And she’s been through a lot. She had her last chemo treatment at the end of April and the cancer is in remission now. She’s been a trooper through it all. If there is anyone I can look to for inspiration it’s my mother. Because of my mother and the example she’s set I know that anything is possible. I’m happy she’s still with us.

As for things between DP and I, they are a lot better than they were six weeks ago. We’ve worked through our issues and we’re going to be fine. I didn’t want to walk away from what we have and neither did he. We just had to get over ourselves and be honest with each other. Things happen. There’s always a reason. Nothing is ever perfect. And this was our latest test (many more to come I’m sure). Of course things would be better if he was here permanently. If I had my way – he would be here. We would physically be together. But anything worth having is worth waiting for. The date of his arrival is set for sometime in November. And the anticipation and excitement continues to build….

And here’s to two years of blogging! “On and on. And on and on. My cipher keeps moving like a rolling stone.” E. Badu couldn’t have said it any better. Until next time…. Be true. Appreciate what you have. Let the blessings flow.

It’s me again…. I’m back after what seems like ages. Like TV….. It seems like I go through more mid-season replacements than ABC. I can’t make any promises the next time, cause who knows what will happen in this show called “Buddah’s Life.” I can say that life has been exciting these last several weeks. Exciting, entertaining, depressing, scary, emotional, extraordinary…. You get the picture. I attended and volunteered at DC Black Pride (my first time doing either and I had a great time), went to a special screening of the DL Chronicles (acted, written, and directed very well), attended a conference in Austin, TX (met some really nice people while roasting alive in that Texas heat), and had a very brief rendezvous with someone I’ll call QD. For anyone who’s been reading over the past few months, you’re probably wondering – well isn’t Buddah in a long-distance relationship with DP? Are they still together? Did Buddah cheat on DP? Well, yes, yes, and no.

We’re still together. As much as we’ve been trying to make it work, it hasn’t been easy. We were doing fine but the distance has been taking its toll on the relationship. (15 months and counting, 5000+ miles away, 5-6 hour time difference depending on the time of year–you get it the picture?) I don’t care but after a certain period of time – talking on the phone isn’t enough. You need something a little more substantial. At a certain point, we started talking about having our cake and eating it too while we’re away from each other. DP said that because of our situation he wouldn’t feel bad if I had my fun on the side as long as I told what I was doing and when. He said he wouldn’t be mad as long as I was honest with him. I found this hard to believe. In the back of my mind I knew this was a big test. Well as I hinted earlier, something did happen (with QD). Wasn’t planned or expected (and damn if it wasn’t GOOD!!!). Guess I failed the test, huh? Oh well….. So I told DP about it and, as I had expected, he flipped. We fussed, fought, and argued and things just haven’t been right since. I’m like Faith Evans (without the coke) trying to figure out where we stand.

Will we come to our senses and get it together? Will we take a break until we’re at least back in the same state? Or will we be like that famous jazz standard and call the whole thing off? Stay tuned for this is an episode in “Buddah’s Life” with multiple parts. Until next time, don’t be as wild and crazy as I’ve been. Second thought, be wild and crazy. Just try to get back to the middle. As a very dear friend told me, this is your time. It’s time to do for you. Do what makes you happy. Don’t let anyone steal your shine!