Here’s a little reality check for all those who’ve been ego-tripping lately… There’s more to life & more to the world than you.
Day 24: Ego-Tripping
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Author Archives: BuddahDesmond611
Day 23: Faith & Determination
When you’re really pushing to achieve something the negative forces will always try to deter you. This is especially true during our bleakest and most difficult times. You have to be steadfast and hold on to your faith. It isn’t easy. But it’s better coming out of the fire having done the right thing instead of the wrong thing.
Day 22: Outside The Comfort Zone
The tried & true methods are not always the best ways to approach problems. Sometimes you have to step outside of the place where you feel most comfortable in order to move forward. Looking towards new methods you are not accustomed to may be the way to go. Take the risk – you never know.
Day 21: Balance
There’s something to be said about someone who is so selfless and giving of themselves to other things and people. There’s also something to be said about someone who is so selfless and giving that they neglect themselves. You’ve got to find the balance between everything, everyone else, and you. Otherwise, this kind of imbalance can lead to self-inflicted burn out (amongst so many other things).
Day 20: So-called Communication
Doesn’t seem to be many of us around who are interested in or care to really communicate anymore. So much is misunderstood, misconstrued, and taken out or put in the wrong context. If we thought before we spoke (or wrote), did our research, went straight to the source instead of making assumptions and passing judgment, and asked the right people the right questions – so much bullshit would be eliminated.
Day 19: Real Greatness
You may be the best at what you do. Amazingly gifted and talented. But none of that matters if you aren’t using what you’ve been blessed with to inspire, motivate, nurture, guide, and assist those coming up with or behind you. It’s about giving back what you’ve been so fortunate with. Is there anything worse than a truly talented person who’s not only boastful, arrogant and egotistical but selfish too?
Day 18: Talking Shit
People will always have shit to say. It’s part of the human makeup. Unfortunately, the things people say tend to be more on the illogical, biased, ignorant, or negative side. But when there’s a problem or an issue that needs to be addressed, if you’re not bringing anything relevant or constructive to the table – do everyone else a favor & shut the fuck up!
Day 17: No More
No more second guessing
Time to cast away the doubts,
The insecurities and the fears
And go with my gut instincts
The first thought or answer to come to mind is usually true
No more beating up myself
What’s done is done — it’s a thing of the past
Time to accept it, reflect upon it, gain from it, and move on
No more bouts with despair
Time to move beyond and get over things that I simply do not have the power
Or control to change
No more worrying
Time to channel that energy into something better
Something useful
Something creative
Time to just live and let it be
No more tears being wasted
On those who said that they loved me
Or those who said that they cared
It’s their loss, not yours
No more sweating the small stuff
Because it’s just that
Time to accept letdowns and disappointments as tests of character,
Endurance and strength
They are gifts in disguise
It’s all a part of life’s journey
And I’m going to enjoy the ride
Whatever happens, happens
However the cards will be dealt
I can guarantee this:
The game will be played and it will be played well
I am now more aware of myself than ever before
I realize that nothing is wrong with me
I am perfectly fine
No more downgrading or shortchanging
I accept myself for who I am
I will not bow down or fall victim to the expectations
Of what everyone says I am supposed to be
No more
I am all of who I am supposed to be and much more
Take it or leave it
(c) BuddahDesmond
Day 16: Round Midnight: A Tribute to Great-Grandpa
On the afternoon of March 14th, my great-grandfather died. He was 95 years old. He’d been sick for the last several months. He was semi-comatose during the last several weeks of his life. But up until that time – he was still hanging, still going strong. He lived a long happy life. Not many people live that long. And it’s truly a remarkable thing. He was a devoted husband, father, grandfather, great-grandfather, and great-great-grandfather. He was a supporter, inspiration, mentor, and role model. He was a military veteran who took pride in serving his country and worked in the federal government for 33 years. He was also a self-taught jazz musician who didn’t read music. He had several instrumental and vocal bands that toured the East coast. Music was his passion. Though he didn’t get to completely follow his passion due to his love and commitment to his family, his passion for music and his talent never ceased. He is one of the reasons why my love for music (jazz in particular) and singing is so strong. He gave me a deeper appreciation for jazz and musicianship. So this one’s for Jazzman Gus, one of many names he was affectionately called. Here’s a classic jazz tune, “Round Midnight” written by the phenomenal pianist/composer Thelonious Monk and performed by Sassy/The Divine One, Sarah Vaughan.
Day 15: You Know What The Bible Says…
A few weeks ago I came out to one of my best childhood buddies. We’d known each since the fourth grade. Though we lost touch a few times along the way due to distance, we never lost our bond or connection. It seemed to grow stronger over the years. We went through and experienced a lot – individually and collectively. And he’d been there with me – through most of it.
So I have no idea why I waited so long to come out to him. There’s a part of me that didn’t think he’d have a problem with it and that he’d be fine. I thought, “Hell, he probably already knows – he’s just waiting for me to tell him.” And then there’s another part of me that was hesitant. When I was away in college, he became a born-again Christian. And I thought that there’s a great possibility that he either won’t accept me or if he does – he might rub the sin, scripture, Bible, Christian thing at me.
I wanted to speak with him in person or at least over the phone about this. But due to hectic schedules, we kept missing each other. So I opted to do it via email (not my mode of choice, but hey…). Here’s a portion of his reply to my email:
You know I look at you as a brother and really want you to live a long, prosperous, joyous & blessed life. You also know my religious views being a Christian rapper and all I’m sure you know where the Christian belief stands on homosexuality. The bible tells me that it’s a sin against God, but it also says that no sin is greater than another and that sin (including homosexuality) can be forgiven. You see God loves is greater than anything sin and His love is the definition of unconditional… My beliefs will not allow me to celebrate what the Word of God calls sin HOWEVER just as God still loves you; so do I. It doesn’t mean that the bond of friendship is any weaker on my end…
I just don’t know what or how to respond. I was both angry and somewhat content with the response. Content because this is what I was expecting him to say and this is why I was hesitant in telling him anyway. Angry because I’m so sick and tired of hearing this sin bullshit. And I’m sorry but it’s bullshit. God made me the way that I am for a reason. My being gay is not a choice or something that I can just turn on and off like a light switch. It’s part of me. It doesn’t consume me and it doesn’t cloud everything that I do. But you cannot acknowledge me in totality without acknowledging that part of me. And as a lifelong friend, I guess I was just thinking that he’d be able to see completely beyond this and accept me totally, wholly. Maybe I’m asking for too much. Maybe I’m making a big deal out of nothing. Maybe I asked for it. But at what point do you get beyond the scripture to the realness in life and the substance of the realness staring in your face….in all of its divinity? What would you do?