Day 92: The Kitchen, My Other Home

One of my favorite things to bake – Cream Cheese Pound Cake
Aside from the stage, studio, and classroom, the kitchen is my home.  I’ve been in the kitchen since I was about 7 or 8 years old.  Learned so many things from my mother and grandmother in the kitchen (still learning).  I’m so glad I received this gift.  I come from a long line of gifted cooks/bakers, especially on my mother’s side of the family.  Good food (and drink) has been just as much a centerpiece of family gatherings as the communion and the entertainment (mostly us acting crazy and talking cash shit—doing what we do best, in other words…lol).  There’s nothing wrong with loving good food, especially if you’re blessed enough to make it, share it, and enjoy it!  
One of the things I’ve learned over the years with cooking/baking is that food truly tastes good when you’ve put your heart and soul into it.  The love emanates through the food and touches the spirit.  This is why people enjoy it so much, and why we find some eating with their eyes closed (totally enraptured with the taste, how it makes them feel, and memories it conjures up).  The best advice:  if you’re not feeling it—step away from the stove!  Put the utensils down and the pots and pans away!  Get out of the kitchen and call for takeout/delivery!  Because the food will tell the story.  I apply this to many of my creative gifts and talents.  I have to feel it.  I have to be able to get into to it.  I can’t do it just for the sake of doing it.  If I’m not feeling it, I can’t do it.  It’s that simple.  
So let me get back on schedule.  I have a Honey Cornbread, Orange Cream Cheese Pound Cake, Baked Yams, Buddah’s Teriyaki Pork Chops with Apples, Onions, & Peppers, and Spinach to make. Happy cooking, baking, and eating! Enjoy!

Day 90: Kindred The Family Soul – Sticking With You

For the last 10 years, Kindred The Family Soul has been making heartfelt, soulful music.  Their music touches the core, speaking frankly, openly, and honestly about life, love, and relationships. Often compared to Ashford & Simpson, Kindred The Family Soul write songs that get down to the heart of the matter in an accessible way.  Their most recent album, Love Has No Recession, continues in this vein.  But aside from their signature love songs, Love Has No Recession, has some poignant tunes about the social and political ills of the day.  Overall, it’s a solid album which conceptually, musically, lyrically, and vocally makes it timeless.  Check out one of the singles from the album, “Sticking With You,” which is a sweet confession of true love and devotion.

Day 83: Can’t Make You Try

You can’t even give a little bit.
You won’t even try.
You fail to do anything that you think is going to challenge your ego.
You’re afraid of compromise for fear of losing yourself.
God forbid you should ever have to change.
But compromise is the key to keeping the scales in relationships balanced.
You can’t be the tyrannical controller and think you won’t get checked,
or think that I’m just supposed to go along with it.

You shouldn’t have to brand yourself differently to make our relationship work.
We have to accept each other as we are;
Else, our problems are much larger than we both can see.
I’m willing to make it work,

But if you aren’t—there’s nothing I can do to make you save our union.
It’s better to be selfish when you’re alone.
And we both know we can do better than that.

So if by now you haven’t changed your mind,
then consider these parting words:
Can’t deny I won’t be sad,
but I’ll get over it; 
and you will too.
I’ll just wish you well
And I sincerely hope and pray that you find whatever you’ve been looking for
Cause it obviously isn’t with me.
 

Day 82: Get Over It

Get over the fact that no one will ever be the same.
Get over the fact that there are multiple umbrellas, and everything and everybody will 
     never live only under one.
Get over the fact that most people have no desire to (and will never) reside in the same 
     space, because complacency is equivalent to death.

Acceptance, change, growth, and progress are pertinent and inevitable.
Let it be!

Day 75: Flash in the Pan

“Flash in the Pan” is a poem featured within the “Love” section of Prevail.  It’s an abbreviated retelling of an experience I had with a former love interest.  As the saying goes—if I knew right then what I know now…  I’m happy love led me to where I am now.

Flash in the Pan

You came in—
A nice guy,
Cute and intelligent,
Constantly sweet-talkin’.
But it turned out to be doublespeak.
You had my attention instantly;
Thought I was fallin’ for you.
You turned me on in all the right places,
But then everything flipped.
The potential was lost,
Gave way to bullshit and childish games,
And I lost interest just as instantly.
Too bad.
But I guess the signs were there
It wouldn’t last.
You came in and just as quickly went out—
Like a flash!

© 2012 BuddahDesmond

Day 67 – Remembering Luther Vandross

As of this month, it’s been 7 years since Luther Vandross’ death.  And I think I can speak for many of his beloved fans (myself included) by saying that we still miss him dearly.  His catalog of music is rich, vast, and seemingly more relevant now than ever.  A true balladeer, Vandross sung about love and relationships with such passion, tenderness, and intensity.  His music touched a cord with many, because there was a soulful sensitivity and vulnerability within his voice that made him immediately relatable.  Like Whitney Houston, Luther Vandross was in a class all by himself.  There never will be another like him.  We will forever sing his praises.

Below, I’ve include a poem featured in my book Prevail written in tribute entitled, “Luther is Love.”

Luther Is Love

Luther—
Or Loofah, as some of us called you—
Still in denial about your passing on,
Doesn’t seem real.
Gone too soon,
But never, ever forgotten.

Luther—
The silky smooth voice,
Flawless,
Full of passion and emotion,
Consummate artistry and professionalism.
A rare commodity,
Especially in the world of contemporary music.
You will remain in a class all your own!

Luther—
Exemplifying class and grace on and off the record.
Media seems to want to “out” you now,
But whatever your sexual orientation, it wasn’t and isn’t an issue.
Media also seems to want to make a big deal about your weight,
But that was just as insignificant with us as well.
It’s the contributions you made that matter;
It’s who you were as a person that matters.

Luther—
You sang in a way that made us feel like you were singing only to us,
Expressing all that we were feeling.
It was a musical connection that became deeply personal and spiritual.
You’ve touched us in so many ways.
For you, we are forever grateful.

Luther—
You spoke of love in all of its splendor.
You are the balladeer of love,
One of the greats.
Your music and spirit will continue to move us eternally.
You will always be loved,
For you are love.

Luther is love!

© 2012 BuddahDesmond

Day 61: We Need You

To us–you are our everything.
We depend upon you for our way of life.
We need you to nurture us, guide us, and protect us.

Even though we sometimes go about our days as fearless as can be,
We need you,
Sometimes more than you know.
That’s why it hurts us so when you don’t hear us,
When you don’t see us,
When you aren’t listening or paying attention to how we feel or what we’re trying to say.
And we internalize it, thinking it’s something that we did to make you act this way,
not knowing–or always aware—that what happens or has happened to you

or what affects your mood and how you treat us often has nothing to do with us.
But how can we know when you don’t know how or are scared to talk to us openly and freely?
We may not be grown but it doesn’t mean we won’t understand.

And if we don’t, we can at least try.

What we often don’t understand is why we get hurt so
when we don’t get what we need from you,
Or when we get taken advantage of.
It’s a whirlwind that can leave us lost;
Some of us sadly never find our way back home.
But those of us that do successfully breakthrough.

You may not fully comprehend how much we need you or how much you need us,
But one without the other simply isn’t right.
If you would only think about the great impact you have on us–so much would change in this world.
Just imagine, this world could become the world we’ve always dreamed of.
And what a world that could be. 
 

© BuddahDesmond

Day 46: Without You

The pain hit me all at once.
I thought I was going to pull through.
It’d been three weeks since you left.
Didn’t feel a tremor or shed a tear.
And suddenly, it was like the environment in the instance of a landslide–it just keep coming
And I’m wondering when it’ll stop.
Guess you meant a little more to me than I cared to admit.

I couldn’t let the emotions get the best of me while in the relationship,
But they’re tearing my ass up right about now.
I can’t seem to keep my composure.
I’ve never fallen this deep.
I feel like pavement and the a loss of love pounds me incessantly.

All I know is I have to pull thru this.
But I don’t know if I can make it without you.

© BuddahDesmond

Day 43: Closure

I’ve searched my mind so many times in the last few days
     to find whatever it is that I did to be whited out, erased,
     terminated from the picture.
The search results came back null.
Even when I did boolean, it rendered my time and efforts useless.
I’m still trying to understand how it all got to this point,
     and why everything feels so disjointed.

All I want is a reason
     A real reason.
Aren’t I good enough for that?
Aren’t I deserving at the very least of that?
Maybe you acted in haste,
     but the actions still remain unchanged.
At least respect me enough to tell me what I did
     that was so wrong 
So I can properly move on,
So I can learn,
So I won’t repeat what made me obsolete
     in a world I was led to believe I belonged in.
But as as we know nowwe were both wrong.

For the sake of closurecould you just fill me in?

© BuddahDesmond

Day 41: Apologies

If you really meant what you said, why apologize?
Anyone could feel the words,
they were jam-packed with passion.
Could the presentation have been different?
Yes.
Could your tone have been less caustic?
Yes.
If anything, you should apologize for how you said what you said.
Otherwise it’s meaningless.
Phony apologies don’t suffice in any instance.
Unless it’s sincere and heartfelt–keep it to yourself.

(c) BuddahDesmond